I was doing my morning walk this morning and the sun was starting to brighten the skies. The colors were beautiful. I wanted to take a picture and decided not to. I have a Samsung phone and I have found over the years that the camera program has changed. The colors aren’t true. Reds look more orange or yellow. Whites are yellowish. I find this discouraging because the camera used to have great color and we live in a big beautiful, colorful world. I would like my sunrises and sunsets look like they should.
You might be asking, “What does this have to do with anything?” If we have lived for more than a few years, there are people who have been in our lives who have hurt us. As kids, we generally shrug it off and the world continues to be a beautiful colorful place. As time moves forward, and more hurt happens, the colors will dim. We are not the beautiful, colorful person that we were meant to be.
We may actually choose to forgive the people who have hurt us, but the color is still dim. Maybe, the person we most need to forgive is ourselves. We, as human beings, have this tendency to beat ourselves up when we mess up. Or we blame ourselves for things that have happened to us. We may or may not have had control of the circumstances, but we still see ourselves as being wrong or having done something wrong.
If that is you, it is time to let go and forgive yourself. You can’t live the bright, beautiful life you deserve if you choose not to forgive yourself. You deserve to be happy, to have the bright lights of life surrounding you.
If you are struggling with self-forgiveness, acknowledge it, make a decision and let it go. This sounds easier than it is, but whatever the challenge, it is worth it. Writing out what you need to forgive yourself for is a good thing to do as it will give you clarity. Write yourself a letter. You can let all the emotions come to the surface. You can yell at yourself in the letter if you choose. BUT, at the end of it all, you are going to shred the letter, delete the letter if you are doing it on your computer, and just get rid of it. Once you have acknowledged and dumped your anger and frustration at yourself, write yourself a love letter. Tell yourself that what was in the past is in the past and is going to stay there. Today is a new day and you are going to move forward with a clean slate. You are letting go of whatever happened and you are going to forgive yourself. Also note in the letter that you will do things again that need forgiving, but you will forgive yourself as often as necessary. Will you need to go through the process again? ABSOLUTELY!! If you start now to forgive yourself, it will be easier as you move forward.
As you let go of the past and forgive, your life will brighten and there will be true color in your life. You can see your beauty as well as the beauty of those around you. The world won’t be full of dim color anymore. It will be clear and beautiful, just like you.
Diane Stevenson is a Certified Flourishing Coach. If you need help forgiving yourself and others, please reach out.
About the Author
Since her first job in a truck stop when she was 15, all of her roles have involved working with people in some capacity. Even if she didn’t enjoy the work, she always loved the people. She has worked in retail, banking, health care, and finance.
Diane has a passion for working with people and helping them to become the best that they can be. Through her life experiences, her own experience of trauma, and her training, Diane has developed the skills to draw people out of their shell and help them overcome what holds them back. She is deeply empathetic and yet challenges her clients to move from languishing to thriving and flourishing.
In her spare time, Diane like to work out (weights, kickboxing, walking), loves to read a good book, volunteers for boards, hangs out with family and friends, and occasionally enjoys a nice glass of wine with friends.
Diane loves spending time with family. Between Diane and her husband, they have 4 adult offspring, 11 grandkids and 5 great grandkids
Diane moved to Calgary in 2000 to attend the University of Lethbridge and get her Bachelor of Management degree. She graduated with Distinction in 2004.