Having a strong sense of self is a choice. A powerful choice to invest in yourself. It is taking yourself off the sidelines of your own life and instead bringing you front and centre.

As you embark on such a journey, the main warning is you must get good at getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and, for some, very uncomfortable.

First step, you truly have to spend time re–editing your story. Often times we go through life simply ignorant of our own story. Something I have learned from Roy Mitton. We sometimes view our successes as failures. Times of difficulty as weaknesses. Which in the end chips away at your sense of self. Revising your story so far and re–editing some parts will help bring clarity and help you start on the
right foot.

The second step is to get specific about what is important to you. A great tool to use to help identify this is searching for your core values. This may be a difficult task so pick between 3–5 values and try them for a period of time. Your values can change depending on the season you are in your life. Expect some movement with your values as you expand your development. Knowing your values will be your wall to
lean against when the tough gets going.

Your third step is DREAM BIG. A lot of us have forgotten how to dream. Something I have learned from Mel Robbins and Connie Jakab. Don’t be afraid to bring out and re–create that vision board. Re–ignite the excitement within. Envision you are 5 again and you can be anything you want to be. Take that momentum and fly with it because you truly can be what your heart desires. I know this is very challenging but deep beneath the doubt, you know you deserve to dream.

So, after you re–edit your story, you set your values, you start to dream big, you follow that up with your mission to find your purpose. How do you find your purpose? There are many resources for that especially at Flourishing and I could not have done it without Flourishing. In a nutshell, it comes down to – experiences. You need to experience a variety of different things. Sign up for that seminar, take time to research that topic, and connect with someone you’ve had on your mind. The more you experience, the more it will lead to what your essential purpose is. As much as I love to be a couch potato, I had to push myself towards different experiences to find my purpose.

And lastly the fifth step, Get Out There! The definition of brave is not you have so much confidence that nothing fazes you. The definition is being scared and doing it anyway. Something Connie Jakab leads by example. There is so much power and value in that. Acknowledge that you are scared to get out there to shine your purpose but have the courage to go out there anyways. And repeat and repeat and repeat.
You got this!

These five steps will get you started and will empower your sense of self along the way. This is a lifetime journey and I am rooting for you.

Dora Melnick–Mitton, a relationship & wellness coach and the co–founder of Explorer Coaching. Dora teaches
individuals to develop a strong sense of self through empowering their self –relationships, and wellness.