We’ve all been hurt. Everyone has been through heartbreak, disappointment, failure, and tragedy in their lives. And while the level of suffering varies from person to person—some people do unfortunately have it harder than others—no one is exempt from pain. But the question then becomes: How do we go from pain to healing? The truth is you can’t take those initial healing steps until you get back to a place of safety.
Many people carry the idea that safety is physical. And to a certain degree, that’s true. However, when we look at the bigger picture, we see it’s only partially true, as safety also encompasses mental, emotional, and spiritual security. I’m sure you’ve been in situations where you felt safe physically, but not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
So how do we move to a place of safety? Luckily, there are 5 simple steps you can take that can help move to a place of inner security. Keep reading to learn more.
Now, I’m not talking about bench pressing 900 lbs or joining the Olympics. I’m talking about the simple physical movements that bring joy to your life. For example, I have a colleague who loves to dance. She films Instagram dance videos to entertain her followers; however, the reason she really dances is because it brings her joy, makes her feel sane, and keeps her levelheaded in this crazy world.
Another example is myself. I love to run—I do it every day; is it because I love staying in shape? Partly… But the main reason I run daily is it makes me feel balanced and allows me to think and reason clearly. Exercise is not just a way to stay fit physically; it is literally a form of mental therapy that brings a feeling of safety.
2. Trigger the Relaxation Response
We all have a fear response, and this was evident in the 2020 pandemic. Now, wherever you stand on this issue, I respect it. We all have varying viewpoints regarding what took place during that tumultuous period. However, if I’m being frank, the fear response was at an unprecedented level. The masks, the mandates, the lockdowns, the restrictions, etc., all happened because people were afraid. Fear can trap you in a place where you don’t know how to disarm it.
With all of this in mind, there is actually a way to trigger the relaxation response with deep breathing. Breathing exercises are excellent for calming the body as they calm your physiology which, as a result, calms your psychology.
3. Know That You Are Safe
When you can find safety within you, you will access safety around you. And while your environment certainly does play a major role, your own perspective is more important in developing a sense of safety. Why? Because the way you view your circumstance is far more important (and far more powerful) than the circumstance itself.
For this reason, finding that sense of safety within you is the first and, perhaps the most essential, step you must to connect to security. Your next question may be: How can I feel safe in an environment that doesn’t support that?
You enter that safety by recognizing and acknowledging your own strength. You’ve been through difficulties, challenges, and hardships. And what’s more, you’ve come out the other end better and stronger than you were before. So by tapping into that experience, you can build your own cocoon of safety wherever you are.
4. Live In The Present Moment
All too often we are either concerned about the past or anxiety-ridden about the future. This is no way to live. Either of these scenarios is going to cause more stress and worry. The solution? Live in the only moment that you have (and that matters): The present. If you stop to see that the present moment is the only thing that matters—and that it’s usually pretty good or at least half decent for most of us—you’ll regain your sense of safety.
Here are a few tips to help you live in the moment more often:
- Practice gratitude: Being thankful for what you already have is one the best and most effective ways to become more present. So often, we get stuck ruminating about the past or stressing about the future that we forget the blessings we have in the present.
- Try meditating: Practicing mindfulness in the form of meditation can be incredibly useful for learning to live more in the present moment. Meditation facilitates clear thinking which enables you to focus more on the moment rather than stewing on what may or not happen in the future or what has happened in the past.
- Social support: Do you have a loving group of friends or a close family member you can turn to for love or encouragement? Having these types of people in your life fosters a sense of connection which, as a result, sucks you out of your heady world of negative thoughts and brings you into the moment (where you should be).
5. Share With Others, Spend Time With Friends, And Most Importantly, Laugh
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others is incredibly therapeutic. Moreover, it helps us to release that pent-up emotional charge, enhancing our mood as a direct result. This same effect can be experienced when we spend time with good friends. People we know, like, and trust (and who feel the same way about us) help us feel connected and part of a community. Consequently, a sense of safety is felt the more we spend time with these kinds of individuals.
And of course, one of the most powerful ways to experience safety is through laughter. Let yourself laugh; allow yourself to be swept away in the humour of the moment—whatever that may look like. Here are some benefits to laughter:
- Reduction in stress hormones
- Boosts your immune systems
- Improves heart functionality
- Relaxes your muscles
- Reduces cortisol levels
- Improves relationship connectivity
Next Step: Get Back To Safety Today
Safety is an integral part of quality living. It’s impossible to live a genuinely happy life if you’re constantly bombarded with feelings of anxiety, frustration, overwhelm, etc. For this reason, we must find ways to connect and get back to safety. If you need a safe place to foster that connection, we can help. At Certified Flourishing Coach, we are a people-centred team of facilitators, coaches, and resilience experts with decades of experience.
Moreover, our evidence-based approach to professional and personal development helps business owners, entrepreneurs, leaders, managers, etc., flourish both in and outside of the workplace. So if you’re ready, contact us today to learn more.
About The Author
Abe Brown, MBA, Founder of Certified Flourishing Coaching™
Abe Brown, MBA, CMCT, CPHSA is the Coach’s Coach, and is an Entrepreneur, Professional Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and High-Performance Leadership Coach. He is the founder of Certified Flourishing Coach™, the Flourishing Life Coaching Program™, and Flourishing Workplace. Abe is also the author of the Certified Flourishing Coaching™ Programs.