Resilience is one of the most important traits you can develop. It strengthens your resolve toward achieving your goals; it helps you bounce back from obstacles, and makes you a stronger person who can stand up in the face of adversity. This has been proven scientifically. In fact, George Vaillant performed the longest-running study on resilience. 

He found an undeviating component of resilient people that played a major role in their ability to respond to difficulty. And what was this determining factor that helped people to cultivate resilience? Keep reading to find out. 


The Simple Yet Underestimated Element Of Resilient People

George Vaillant’s study of resilience began in 1937. His experiment followed a group of healthy, emotionally stable, male Havard sophomores for over 70 years. And after that prolonged period, the evidence was undeniable. Vaillant concluded that positive, healthy relationships throughout life can drastically improve our happiness, life satisfaction, and overall strength to deal with hardships. 

In other words, one of the main factors in cultivating resilience is having a strong support group. Vaillant said it himself: The only thing that really matters in life is your relationships with other people. 

Now, here’s the truth, many of us have been hurt in relationships. We’ve been burned, wounded, and abused. But I’ll tell you what, regardless of what you’ve been through in your previous relationships, that doesn’t mean there aren’t incredible people out there (mentors, coaches, friends, etc).

These kinds of people can lift you, support you, and empower you. 


The Key To Finding And Building Positive Relationships

If you want to attract positive high-quality people into your life, the first step you have to take is to become a positive high-quality person yourself because, like attracts like. Water will always seek its own level. It will be impossible to keep positive people in your life if you are not emanating that same kind of energy. And there are numerous ways for you to do this. Consider the following:

  • Practice Gratitude: Find things in your life you can be happy and grateful for. Gratitude is contagious. The more grateful you are, the stronger your personal magnetism grows. The result? You will begin to “pull” the right people into your life, as they will be attracted to your uplifting spirit!
  • Take Better Care Of Yourself: Whether it’s eating healthier, working out more, or making time for hobbies you love that expand your creativity, taking better care of yourself will emanate to those around you. Why? Because you’ll be happier and feel more confident, which then will, inevitably, lead to others who feel the same way about themselves to become attracted to the positive energy you’re exuding. 
  • Become A Giver: Too many people are only looking out for themselves. And while self-preservation is important, it can only get you so far. You will attract better quality people into your life the more you add value to those around you (without getting worked up or losing sleep over what comes back in return). Givers give without expectation. They do it because that’s who they are. And that is attractive to people. So become a giver and you will naturally attract others with the same mentality. 

The quality of your relationships is determined by the quality of your character. Be better and you will have better. With time, you’ll also develop an unshakable foundation of social support which will provide the resilience you need for life’s challenges. 


Final Thoughts

Relationships are life. They are the driving force that motivates and inspires us to do and be better. As a result, we need to do all we can to nurture those connections. This is what will allow us to flourish in the most unexpected ways. And the best part? You don’t have to do it alone. We here at Certified Flourishing Coach can help. We are a team of expert coaches and facilitators. 

Moreover, our approach to personal and professional development is rooted in psychology and science with our evidence-based curriculum. We’ve certified thousands of coaches globally, creating an optimistic, growth-oriented, and people-centred community. So contact us today if you’re ready to flourish in business and in life!

About the Author

Abe Brown, MBA, CMCT, CPHSA is the Coach’s Coach, and is an Entrepreneur, Professional Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and High-Performance Leadership Coach. He is the founder of Certified Flourishing Coaching™, the Flourishing Life Coaching Program™, and Flourishing Workplace. Abe is also the author of the Certified Flourishing Coaching™ Programs.