Your relationships are everything. They will determine—by and large—your success, happiness, and overall quality of life. For this reason, it makes sense that you’d want to be very discerning about who you allow into your inner circle. The best kinds of relationships are mature ones. What does a mature relationship look like? It is a mutual exchange partnership where both parties are focused on giving to one another instead of trying to look for what they can take.
1. Stop Comparing and Start Celebrating
Whether you’re just starting out on your success journey or you’ve been at it for some time, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. Many of us compare our backstage to someone else’s front stage—this is a losing battle. It’s easy to look at someone else who’s successful or maybe better at something than we are and then we devalue ourselves.
And I wanna say that’s a really horrible strategy.
Why? Because then what happens is you’re constantly in comparison with other people. How about you stop comparing and start celebrating? You’ll never move from immature to mature relationships until you stop playing the comparison game. And the best way to stop? Start celebrating yourself and others for the wins and successes. This is how you add value to other people and foster positivity in your relationships.
2. Stop Competing and Start Completing
When my business was younger, I was always looking at my competitors in the playing field.
My thoughts? “Who am I competing with? How can I do better than them? How can I dominate them?” And soon, I started realizing that’s a terrible mentality because there’s no way I can compete with them. They already have a market advantage; a competitive, strategic advantage against me.
I was just entering the market; who am I?
But what I discovered was the magic of completion. What does that mean? It comes down to collaborating with others. So I began asking myself: Who can I partner and collaborate with? It became about using each other’s skills and knowledge to form a complete package whereby each of us is helping each other with their unique abilities.
So together, we’re not competing, we’re completing.
The result? We work in unison to build something bigger and better than we could do on our own. That’s the magic of synergy; that is sustainable business.
3. Stop Judging and Start Affirming
If you are a person who judges others on a regular basis, guess what… You will attract people who will do the same thing to you in your life. Why? Because like attracts like; it’s a Universal Principle. Water will always seek its own level. It just makes sense; for example, if I’m constantly going around pointing my finger at all these other people and judging them (especially if I’m dumb enough to do that online), what’s gonna happen? I’m going to attract people like that in my life.
And if that’s who I’m attracting, then those types of individuals will make up my reality. They’ll be in my business, my family, my friendships, etc. And that is going to be horrible. And guess what, you deserve better.
So what I discovered is that if I’m going to move from immature to mature relationships, I need to stop judging and start affirming. Affirming makes people feel safe while judging puts them on the defense—which one do you prefer?
It’s not about what’s wrong with other people; it’s about what’s strong with them.
It’s not about weakness; it’s about strength.
It’s not about tearing down; it’s about lifting up.
4. Stop Grasping and Start Giving
Now, I know this is completely antithetical to the mindset of our culture. Western culture has this idea of “How can I get what’s mine? No matter the cost of the price to you?” And that’s a bad way to do business. We are not living in the dark ages anymore; hate to break it to you but this isn’t the middle ages, 1200 AD, in Europe.
This is the New Economy; the New Age.
And with that comes the new idea that states “Together, we are better; together, we soar.” Now, here’s why I’m saying this: Some of you are trying to build your business by yourselves; the truth is you can go much further much faster with others than you ever can on your own.
My wife is Filipina, and one of the first things I bought for her was a karaoke machine (we’ve gone through 5 of them now). And sometimes I come home and she’s just singing by herself. Similarly, that’s the way many of you are trying to do business!
I want to tell you…
Not only is it lonely but it’s hard to do business by yourself. We’re building our team already in over a dozen countries around the world, pulling people in from all over the place and we want YOU to be a part of that team!
So why would you try to build your business alone?
Get connected with people who know where you’re going and have been where you are. And most importantly, who wants to take you where you want to be. Get out of that solo mindset, that solo concept, and get into relationships and teams.
Next Step: Get Ready To Flourish In Community
You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Everyone needs community; everyone needs belonging. And here at Certified Flourishing Coach, we want to provide that sense of belonging. Our team of certified trainers, coaches, and facilitators is here to help. We offer the training and support system needed for you to rise up and flourish in everything from your business or career to your creativity and relationships. So if you’re ready, contact us today to learn more.
About the Author
Abe Brown, MBA, CMCT, CPHSA is the Coach’s Coach, and is an Entrepreneur, Professional Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and High-Performance Leadership Coach. He is the founder of Certified Flourishing Coaching™, the Flourishing Life Coaching Program™, and Flourishing Workplace. Abe is also the author of the Certified Flourishing Coaching™ Programs.